Relationships Explained Through Punctuation

All relationships feel complicated at one point or another. And if it doesn't, I personally believe that that just makes thing complicated. So there, all relationships feel complicated at one point or another. Period. I use punctuation for my relationships to determine their finality, their unknown and such as follows.

Period. A period goes at the end of a relationship that is done. Over. Complete. Will never return to. Should never return to, because if you did, it would just end in a bigger, more dramatic period. Don't go back to it. Period.

Comma. Commas belong at the end of a relationship where you didn't break up, are on perfectly fine terms, but circumstances separates you from your partner and you don't know if it's worth the full semicolon yet or not. Commas are unbalanced and leave partners hanging.

Semicolon. Semicolons are a happy conjunction of two pieces of a relationship that was on hold for a while; however, never on bad terms.

Colon. A colon is a cheated continuation of a period. It is going nowhere because one side wants and needs it more than the other side. At least one side cannot stand independently of itself and requires the support of the other, which does not a healthy relationship make. It's like cheating death by adding another dot. Not fair and it won't end well. You cheated and cheaters don't win.

Question-mark. This one is mainly reserved for first time daters because a first relationship is magical, it is filled with hope, answers and many questions without answers, leaving one or both parties inquisitive, yet unable to answer either partner's question, small or large, short term or long term, menial or philosophical. This relationship is best left unanswered by each other. Move on to find answers. While curiosity inspires growth, it also killed the cat.

Ellipses. Ellipses are for the Romeo & Juliet type, similar to the comma, but not quite as hopeful. This one has three kisses of relationship death, not just one. The "maybe someday" line is the biggest load of nothing. The indefinite nature of this piece of punctuation suggests hope; however, this hope is more often than not, one-sided. It's a, "He's Just Not That Into You" moment and he drew 3 balls because he couldn't use his own two balls (if this is a guy putting the ellipses into the relationship) to draw only one, and end it.

This may all sound very cynical. Maybe it is? But instead, I believe that a relationship that works like everyone dreams and hopes (and they do exist, my parents are proof) doesn't require the punctuation I've described because the ride never stops, it may slow, hang by a comma now and then, but the one we all dream for ends in !